As I happened to be in the United States on this Memorial Day, I have some reflections on this yearly holiday. As in almost all countries in the world, Israel included, there is a special day during the calendar year set aside for remembrance of the fallen soldiers who fought in the wars engaged in by that country. The Memorial Day of the United States began after the bloody American Civil War – to honor the memory of the fallen soldiers of the Union Army. It has since expanded to include the hundreds of thousands of American soldiers killed in subsequent and current wars.

The concept of a day of remembrance is certainly a poignant one for those personally affected by the loss of a family member, close friend or acquaintance. Yet for those not directly affected by a loss, there is not always a response to the concept of a memorial day. In the United States it is a national holiday - a day of picnics, concerts, sports events, store sales, parades and a day off from work. This presented to me in jarring contrast to the day of remembrance in Israel which is very serious, special and not a day of levity and leisure at all.

I feel that even with the semi-secular tone of the memorial day that has evolved here in Israel – with sirens, military salutes, flower wreaths, and predictable platitudes from politicians - there is a traditional religious Jewish motif that governs the day. It is the presence of that spirit of tradition, of how to conduct memorials and remembrances, that gives the Israeli memorial day its unique and different character. Everything here in Israel seems to be special.

Jewish tradition has developed a system of memory and remembrance for its martyrs and heroes. It is understated and without the requirement of speeches. It encourages inner analysis and improvement, thought and understanding. It emphasizes the fragility of life and the uncertainty of security. It highlights the interdependence of Jews one upon another. It does not unduly glorify the art of war but it does not shirk from realizing its omnipresence and effects in Jewish history. Judaism remembers people, admires sacrifice and cherishes life. In our time - for the first time in millennia – Israel has the ability to defend itself against vicious enemies. Throughout the long exile of Israel, only in rare instances were Jews anything but defenseless martyrs. So, Jews had no choice but to have a muted memorial day and service. And, this muted response governed Jewish remembrance ceremonies. This dovetailed exactly with the above described concepts of Jewish traditional mourning and memory.

Even today when we are blessed with a courageous and successful army that gives us the ability to defend ourselves from our enemies, the day of remembrance for our fallen soldiers is much more serious, somber and perhaps more meaningful. I see the gradual disappearance of military parades here in Israel on special national days and a return to a more traditional way of marking these days of remembrance.

In personal and private life as well, days of remembrance have special meaning and, in Jewish tradition even special ritual and ceremony. Yahrzeits and days of ‘zikaron’ are commemorated with a memorial candle, the recitation of ‘kaddish,’ and the granting of charity to the needy. In addition, words of Torah are spoken, as are reminiscences of the departed soul with special emphasis on faith in life and the afterlife. In a strange way, the day of remembrance is meant to be day of closure and even comfort and not one of scraping open old and painful wounds and memories. There is no hiding from the loss of a beloved one but the Torah demands that we progress and raise ourselves even from personal tragedy and sadness. Memorial days are hard but they are necessary and proper. Memory is meant to encourage positive action and meaningful behavior in life. Remembrance is a serious matter. So are days of memory and tradition. We should treasure such opportunities.

Shabat shalom.

Berel Wein